Sunday, July 5, 2009

Decision Overload



I am feeling a tad overloaded this weekend. Too many factors to be considered, too many implications of treatment decisions to take it lightly or make hasty decisions. And to top thinks off, it hasn't been a great physical weekend either. Unfortunately the full side effects of the steroids are taking hold. I've been a bit stuck at home this weekend as a result. I don't think I like steroids very much.

My awesome husband has spent the entire weekend doing everything he possibly could to make it a nice July 4th weekend and take my mind off of things. Although we didn't have baseball, we did have hot dogs, no apple pie and well Chevrolet.............

Tomorrow I will talk with my oncologist and see if we can get more input into treatment options and specific risks factors. We have weighed information the entire weekend and are leaning in a direction unless my oncologist throws up some major objections or is forthcoming with new factors to be considered.

Regardless, I don't think right now that I could even decide between crushed ice and cubed. So for now, I will rest in the Lord and allow Him to guide this chapter of my life. There isn't a lot of time to waste here. The effects of this type of tumor can begin suddenly and devastatingly. Once it starts to move, it is not reversible.

Please pray for us. Pray that we have clear direction, level headedness and discernment. This where we really have to employ our faith to defeat the fear.

9 comments:

tumbleintodreams said...

You are certainly in my prayers. I believe God is revealing the best path for you to take. I hope the treatment can be started immediately and that you will be able to handle it, with God's help, in the beautiful way you have carried yourself through chemo. You are very loved. I pray that you will have peace whichever path you travel.
sherri mcinnis

petersonclan said...

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

Your future is in His hands... He has a perfect plan.

I am praying for complete healing, and will continue to do so. May you have Hope, and lean on His loving arms.

Anonymous said...

Cindy,
You were in my prayers this a.m. and I lifted you up in prayer at my church this morning. I wish that I could be there to give you a hug and let you know your loved so for now I will say this from afar... Love you and my God grant clarity and peace in the decisions you and your family have to make through this...
God Bless,
Jewell Seprodi

Mom Of Many said...

Sweet friend,
I have been praying for you as I drive....i can't imagine....I love you and know that God will give you decisive direction. He is Jehovah Rapha your healer and I am clinging to that for you!! xo
PS Scripture says it only takes a MUSTARD SEED and I KNOW you have that much!! Much love!

Anonymous said...

His path for you is specific, planned and measured. I pray that God will use everyone involved to point you (and your husband) in the right direction....that you would not turn to the right or the left, but only onto His preordained path; that there would be no other choice but the right one. My heart is aching for you...I pray that He will keep you in His perfect peace!
Hugs,
Paula Poppe

Cindy said...

I pray so specifically for you so many times a day, but always my main prayers include strength and healing. Clearly you now need immediate discernment and specific guidance from God, and I pray it'll all be as clear as a bell for you tomorrow.
Love, Cindy Bodie

Linda up north said...

Dear Cindy
I most definitely am praying whenever I think of you... many times all day long. May the Almighty God, who knows exactly what is coming next, fill you with His calming Spirit and guide you in these hard decisions. Remember He is holding you, and all your family, in the palm of His hand, working all things for good.

Anonymous said...

Cin,
My body cares nothing for steroids either. I guess my arthritis will suffer for it one day. Another thing my body won't tolerate is any kind of colesterol medication. After 10 days of what was supposed to be a "new" med that actually is the old med Questran my mind and body were so confused I said no more of this poison.

For the 4th I watched the HBO JOHN ADAMS. It was very well done, but not as enjoyable to me as George Washington ! I think I have done a dreadful thing. I was too zealous one day while I was cleaning and I think I must have tossed my tape of the final episode of GW - the 4 hr ? series shown on PBS which was on his presidency ! Where will I ever find that again (without contacting someone who was a friend who abandoned me 15 yrs ago?

Meanwhile I continuously pray "the prayer that never fails" for you and your family. I take it you are aquainted with Father Tim ?

Love,
Gail

PS. Hope tonight is a better sleeping night for both of us. I woke up to go to the bathroom last night at 4am. On re-entering my room I realized the top half of my window was blinking.
There were blue lights and yellow lights couldn't tell how many of each just 2 houses up on Harriet. At 11pm kids had been shooting firecrackers from there. But last 2 nights had stopped just after 11. HAve no idea what was happening and probably never will know. There will be nothing in the paper.

Theresa said...

Cindy,
Ongoing prayers for you and for your family. May the gift of discernment be granted you, along with the Lord's peace. Love to you - Theresa

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