Saturday, February 21, 2009

Smoothie Anyone?

The week hasn't gone according to my plan. I seem to stay sick a great deal these days. Much of this week I have spent sleeping. A high degree of bad news this week has done its best to keep us on our toes. Although in reality, it didn't happen this way, it felt as though we learned of someone else in our midst with cancer nearly every day.

On Thursday my breakfast consisted of a berry smoothie. My CT scan was scheduled early so my "breakfast" was early as well. Having to ingest much of anything, other than coffee at an early morning hour is enough to make my stomach turn on a good day. When item ingested is a berry smoothie, well lets just say its not always pretty. For those who are wondering, berry smoothie, is the flavor I was given of the contrast barium sulfate which I need to drink before the CT. This substance is not as horrible as several things I have drunk prior to testing. It is however, a watered down version of a smoothie whose main ingredient tastes for the world like chalk.

I went to the CT and was fortunate enough to draw my favorite CT tech to start my IV. She never misses, no bruises and doesn't even hurt. This is a far contrast from the techs in the PET department. On my last trip there, it took five sticks, and three people to get the IV in. Boy that was fun.

As if the number of sticks wasn't enough, my lousy veins actually bent the plastic catheter while in my arm. The poor little young tech couldn't get it any further in, and she couldn't pull it out as bent as it was. She was getting panicky so I finally told her to just go ahead and rip - it was inevitable. We had a red geyser which coated me, her and a good portion of the room. She was so apologetic and I really felt sorry for her. After she got the bleeding controlled and cleaned us both up a bit, she went and got her supervisor who was visibly upset at the little incident. It was her intention to get that needle in and get it in quickly. That didn't happen. After two tries she went and got another nurse who specializes in "hard sticks." It took her two tries and she finally had to place it in a deep vein on the underside of my forearm. Yeh, that was fun. So having Missi in CT is a huge blessing for me. As always, first time, no incident, no pain. Have I mentioned how much I love Missi?

The CT is actually over quickly. I think I had mentioned that I tend to get very anxious during and after the CT. Usually I lie there and recite scripture on fear to myself during the actual scan. There were a number of people who were praying for me during this one. Their prayers were both felt and answered. I was very calm and peaceful during this one. While I would continue to ask that you pray, I also have a very real peace regarding the results we will receive on Monday.

When I left I had an eye doctor appointment almost next door. Chemo has a tendency to change your vision. It isn't recommended that you change your glasses or contacts prescription while you are still in chemo simply because it will probably change again. But my vision has deteriorated so badly with this round that I didn't have much choice if I was to be able to continue to read or walk through my house without falling over furniture and small children.

Monday we get the CT results and I have a my Baker's Dozen/final chemo treatment scheduled before my good long three week break. I am so hoping that this treatment is a bit easier than the last few have been.

Please add to your prayer list: Gay, Cathie, Molly, Daniel, Lydia, Jill, Jim, Kenny and Donna. All of these people have had bad news in the last two weeks regarding cancer. I really don't understand it. I know that when you buy a car, you suddenly notice how many other people drive that particular type of car. If you buy a Nikon camera instead of a Cannon, it seems like everyone and their brother has a Nikon, or vice versa. Perhaps I'm experiencing a variation of this with cancer. But I just can't imagine why so high a number of people around me have received this diagnosis in the last two to three years.

Twice tonight this subject has come up around me. And even though I do believe that somehow, all of this fits in God's master plan, the grief is still there and has to be dealt with on a daily basis. With much conscious effort, it isn't stopping us from having as much family fun and time together as we can, but it's there with us - always. We have all learned that the tears are okay. We continue to learn to love through the tears of grief, and how to just go ahead and cry while doing enjoyable things anyway. Personally, I concentrate on the magnitude of blessings that I have. And I am grateful beyond mere words for that which I have been given. I try to rest in God as much as possible, because that is where I find my peace. I can't even imagine why this is happening to so many, but I do trust God that His plan supersedes all that I could even imagine.


Karen said...

That was beautiful, Cindy. Keep hanging on. And thanks for being such an inspiration to us all.

Cindy said...

Now I love Missi also and will pray for ease of treatments for you. I am so sorry for all you are enduring. Your strength and grace has ministered to me more than you'll ever imagine.
Love, prayers and hugs, Cindy

Wes Adams said...

It's in scripture, it's called prophecy. It's a plague being pured out on the earth. Sort of, it does say that in the "end times" that there will be global sickness, famine, and disease. Cancer fits the bill. Love ya!


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